Monday, May 16, 2011

Smallville's Sexiest Erica Durance Lois Lane Costumes

Fly through ten years of Super-hottie Erica Durance bringing heat vision to our screens as  counts down Smallville's Sexiest Lois Lane Outfits!

The Playboy Bunny

Appearance:  "Charade"
Naturally, the most subtle way for any reporter to get a scoop on a corrupt congressman is by jumping out of a cake dressed as a Playboy bunny.  But hey, the folks producing Smallville don't exactly pay Erica Durance for her journalistic integrity.

The Fighter

Appearance: "Combat"
Once again, Lois must pose as a stripper as she enters the scene of an underground metahuman fight club, only to wind up roped into battle herself.  At this point, she's had more of a career as an exotic dancer than an actual journalist, but if red latex gets the job done who are we to argue?


Appearance: "Isis"
Given the amount of times she's been possessed, knocked unconscious or unwittingly given super-powers, Lois Lane is bound to have 97 different types of cancer by now.  So get her while she's hot, in her sexy "I've been possessed by Isis and am now an Egyptian hooker" look!

The Maintenance Girl

Appearance: "Veritas"
What do you think?  Undercover journalism with Jimmy olsen by her side, or the start of the world's greatest porno?  Believe us, the fanfic exists somewhere.

Maid Marian

Appearance: "Wither"
Sure she dressed as Maid Marian to compliment Oliver's Robin Hood outfit at a costume ball, but we'd prefer if she dressed as Speedy to compliment the vintage Green Arrow outfit Oliver was actually referencing.

The Card-Carrying Fight Club Girl

Appearance:  "Savior"
Naturally, only Lois' editorial prowess could lead her to uncover that one of world's youngest billionaires had taken to fighting in underground fight clubs, as she sneaks in as the card girl to enlist his help.
It's cute in a Peg Bundy sort of way, but we'd prefer the typical bikini.

The Fifth Element

Appearance: "Facade"
We're not exactly sure why Dr. Elise Fine needed to wrap lois lane up in a skimpy medical-bandage like outfit in order to perform Kryptonite enhanced plastic surgery, but we're not one to question doctors' orders.  Particularly when they involve dressing down Erica Durance.

The Showgirl

Appearance: "Fortune"
Having lost her wedding ring, Lois takes to dressing up as a showgirl to infiltrate the Casino where its being held, naturally.  And if you think Lois looks good, you should see Green Arrow.

The Happy Homemaker

Appearance: "Persuasion"
Accidentally hypnotized by Clark's newest kryptonite-induced power (we know), Lois decides to quit her job at the Daily Planet and become the happy homemaker in an effort to have a more traditional relationship.
Why that means she'd travel back in time to get that outfit is beyond us, but there's something to be said for the doting housewife look.

The French Maid

Appearance: "Odyssey"
A little on the nose, don't you think?  Does the Luthor mansion actually have maids dressed in the classic French style, that Lois could infiltrate as such in order to get information?  Lex is pretty depraved, after all.

Witchy Woman

Appearance: "Spell"
On her 18th birthday, Chloe Sullivan and her closest friends Lois and Lana become possessed by the spirits of three witches, and run amok making sport of Smallville's men and terrorizing the town with their mighty powers.
Or something.  Who cares?  Look what they made Erica Durance wear.

The Prom Queen

Appearance: "Spirit"
Villains always whine about their "best."  Superman goes home and f$%ks the prom queen.  Or at least a possessed Lois Lane acting as his date.  But it's not rape if the spirit is giving consent, right?


Appearance: "Stiletto"
Lois takes to her own costumed identity as "Stiletto" in an effort to attract the attention of The Blur, but with a latex get-up like that, that's not the only thing Erica Durance is attracting.

The Noir Singer

Appearance: "Noir"
Technically Lois' appearance in the Jimmy Olsen dream-episode "Noir" was actually in black and white, but Erica Durance looks good no matter what tint she's shown in. 

The Scottish Lass

Appearance: "Escape"
We're all for a bit of cosplay to please a man, but how exactly was a Scottish lass look supposed to get the Man of Steel's blood pumping?  Ours maybe, but Lois'd be better off as Wonder Woman.  Speaking of which...

The Darkseid Dominatrix

Appearance:  "Supergirl"
Once again, Lois Lane wins the prize for journalistic anonymity, as she successfully tricks Gordon Godfrey by posing as his limo driver, than as a masked blonde in a bondage club, after she'd had a full conversation with the man hours earlier.  Whatever, she looks good as a blonde.

The Football Jersey

Appearance: "Comitted," "Ambush"
Doesn't always need to be an elaborate costume for Erica Durance to get our attention.  A simple football jersey will do just the trick, even if we are devastated by the loss of the Giants to the Smallville Ravens.

Future Lois

Appearance: "Salvation," "Homecoming"
She's all business and librarian in the future, but we totally buy the classic image of Lois Lane presented in 2013.  And is it me, or is she a dead ringer for porn star  Lisa Ann here?

The Scarecrow

Appearance: "Lazarus"
Paying homage to the classic image from Smallville's pilot, Lex Luthor ('s clone) puts Lois up in the "Scarecrow" pose and lights the field on fire.
Though technically, itd be more accurate to take her top off.  Just saying.

Stormtrooper Lois

Appearance: "Warrior"
Lois' first attempt at cosplay to blend in with the nerd crowd is admittedly light on skin, but who among us hasn't fantasized about doing it with a girl in a Stormtrooper costume? 
No?  Just me?

The Jogger

Appearance: "Sneeze"
Clark's got it easy.  With our yellow sun juicing his super-powered body half the day, he's never had to work out a day in his life.  Lois on the other hand, likes to keep trim with a skimpy run across rural Kansas.
Don't you hate when barn doors almost land on you when you're exercising?

The Red-Blue Bikini Babe

Appearance:  "Aqua"
There's nothing like the classic red and blue, paying homage to both Superman's future colors, as well as the poolside exit of Phoebe Cates in Fast Times at Ridgemont High.
Sadly, the two scenes didn't play out in the same way, if you know what we mean.

The All-American Stripper

Appearance: "Exposed"
You know, one might find something of a telling notion given how often Lois Lane winds up as a prostitute or a stripper in an effort to get a story.  But what we would give to be a lead weight attacked to a bikini string right now...
As always, Smallville's portrayal of beautiful, strong women in the media reminds everyone why Erin Andrews thinks twice about booking hotel stays.  
God bless Erica Durance, and God bless America.

The Amazonian Princess

Appearance: "Warrior"
Lois Lane throws on skimpy outfits more often than Clark Kent saves the day, so who'd be surprised when she sets our nerd hearts aflutter by dressing as both a stormtrooper andWonder Woman for a comic convention?
Okay, so she wasn't Wonder Woman, but rather an "Amazonian Princess" who looks suspiciously like Wonder Woman.  And carries a whip.  Maybe the David E. Kelley adaptationcould have taken a few lessons.

The Bride-to-Be

Appearance: "Persuasion," "Finale"
Terrifying as committment may be, you have to admit she looks good in a wedding dress.  And don't you snicker, Smallville is ending!  It's sad.

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